8
July
2006
After tis blog, i may not update my blog so often….
2ml, last day of my 2months holiday….another new sem after a year study in U…i have 2 move into a new environment, new house, new room, new roomate…… everything new……ss17th,quite far….dunno where the house located…dunno how the house look like..is it clean? is it comfort? how about the toilet ( i m really so "yimjim" wif tis!! )….where shud i wait bus 2 class??which bus shud i take? all of tis make me faint….anywhere, i still have 2 accept tis truth and try 2 adapt it as soon as possible…accept…..oways a hard but best way 2 make life bcm more happy going…..
good luck and all the best for me……and all my dearest fren…….
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2
July
2006
两个月的假期，转眼间，只剩下一个星期了。两个月里，也没做到任何有意义的事情。原定的计划，更不用说，大多都没实现。最开心的，就是和家人及好友们的团聚。
这两个月里，吃了很多蛋糕。母亲节，外公生日，妈妈生日，
爸爸生日，父亲节，家里买的蛋糕就有五个了，
加上五月及六月间特别多朋友生日，买蛋糕的钱业花了不少。 但是，每一次的聚会都很开心。哥哥回来的三个星期里，我的白天不再“寂寞”.,虽然他常会和我“抢”电脑玩game,但总比没人陪伴来得好。
一年前的这个时候，很多事情的发生让我有点不致所措，无法知道的真相，突如其来的消息，，，。。。造成情绪低落。也在这个时候，大家到忙着为上大学做准备，没想到一年就这样过去了。一年里，很多时候都会想起“往事”。
中学时期，从白衣蓝裙，换上白衣红裙，朋友们都带给我许多的回忆。有开心，当然也有不开心。上课时偷偷谈天，讨论老师，同学，八卦，分工合作而完成的功课，逃课到茶店吃早餐，集体不去上课，彼此交换对某某某的看法，，，，，，，，，，，，，聊着同样的话题，朝着同一个目标。。。。。。。。及很多很多，都有你们陪我度过。
一年后的今天，大家的言语中，添加了各自的朋友，各自的经历，各自的目标。。。。。。庆幸的是，分布在不同地方的我们，都还有着联系。。。。
看回三年里写的日记，虽然不多，也可以被列为“月记”，发现原来我记下的，都是许许多多不开心的事情。还记得朋友以前常问我为什么每天都能那么开心。事实上，有谁没被伤害过？有谁不曾伤心？又有谁会永远开心？遇上不开心的事情，日记永远是我最好的朋友，把事情经过及想法统统写在日记里面，把日记本盖上的那一刻，告诉自己事情会过去，快乐等着我，感觉就像把心中大石头放下，轻松许多。快乐的事情，永远会记在脑海中，所以也不必靠文字来提醒。现在觉得自己渐渐常把心情写在脸上，不知道为什么，越来越不能控制自己的情绪，心情起伏也越来越大。。。。。。是年龄的关系？还是环境的关系？？不行不行。。。。。。。要改。。。
一年前，不曾离开家的我，终于要到外读书了。看着家人离开，自己却要留在当时还陌生的环境，面对陌生的人，眼泪开始在眼睛里打滚。刚开始的一个星期里，只要让我一个人无所事事，就会有想哭的冲动。还好，庆幸的是，那时候休息的时间也没有，让我没太多机会。。。。想家。。。想。。。现在竟然要当senior 了。。。认识的人虽然很少，但几个朋友，从陌生，到成为好朋友，已经很不容易。常说，在外靠朋友，彼此互相扶持，很多问题都能解决。开始适应在外的生活，但是想家的感觉仍然不会减少。就像现在，离开学还有一个星期，已经有种不想离开家里的感觉。也有些想逃避问题。。。。。宿舍问题。。。。。不想去想。。。
朋友们一个接一个的离开家里回到学校，留在这里的已经渐渐减少，下一次再见，可能是两个月后，也可能是半年后。好想把时光倒流，回到两个月前刚考完试的那一刻，很轻松。但是，既然这已是无法改变的事实，我只有盼望着下一次的假期，下一次的朋友聚会。希望到时候的大家，依然过的开心。
到时再分享大家的经历，永远不让聚会画上句点，，，，，，，，，，，，，
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1
July
2006
七月一日，下半年的开始，假期的结束。去年的明天 （02.07.2005），。。。。。。。
两个装满日常用品的箱子，一个装满衣服的bag，准备踏入我的大学生活，也是第一次离家的生活。没有很兴奋，更没有期待，满脑子的。。。。。不舍得。。。。家人，
朋友。。。。
来到陌生的环境，陌生的脸孔，“阴差阳错”下被分到和“她”同房。
她给我的第一印象，没有人人都认为得凶，也没有人人都觉得的害怕，第一次看到高大的她，其实也没什么特别想法，只是认定她一定会打篮球。一个人跟在人群中，误打误撞的进到属于我和她的房间，小小的房间，两个衣橱，两张床，两张书桌，平均设在房间左右，中间剩下一道大概一尺宽的“人行道”，另一个门的背后是个露台。心里在想：以后的日子就在这小空间里度过了。。。还好有个露台，可以透透气，望望天。终于，要和家人道别了，妈妈不断叮咛，喝多一点水，晚上关好门，东西都带齐了吗，。。。其实我不大听得进，因为我在努力的不让眼泪掉下来。。。
一个星期内，日子过的超痛苦，加起来的睡眠时间，也不超过10个小时，凌晨一点多了还坐在地板上听学长们的训话，屁股超痛，身体因为冷气太冷而颤抖。讲座会时间，是大家用来补眠的时间，但是，残忍的“上一代”却爱拿着相机把睡梦中的他们拍下。不敢睡的我，开始想念。。。。想着在家中的爸妈，妹妹在做什么。。如果我在家我该在做什么。。朋友们是否也被折磨着。。他们有没有也想起我。。什么时候我们能像以前一样聚在一起。。突然，鼻子一阵酸酸的，眼泪掉下来，我就会假装是。。。很眼睡。。。把泪擦掉，深呼吸。。。不知是否有效，但至少没人问我，“你为什么哭。。”
可恶的学长们不让我们用电话，却帮了我。一个星期里，爸妈没有打电话给我。我知道，只要听到他们的声音，我会哭。妹妹发来的简讯，让眼泪再次不听话，因为我真的好想念她。几天里，常常睡醒后都看到让我想哭，但又开心的简讯，想念的心却渐渐增加。。。。。。。。第一次打电话回家，成功的忍着泪水，不让爸爸知道。。。。
告诉自己要认识多一点朋友，但是还是没做到，是我太累，还是我根本没有努力的让自己融入他们的世界？看到他们成群的在谈天说笑，难免会很羡慕。但是，总会告诉自己，朋友不在乎多，重要的是知心。对吗？以前我会说对，但现在的我会犹豫，认识的人越多，很多事情都会迎刃而解。。。毕竟在这成群的社会里，人际关系真的很重要。我想这是我要多多学习的一门学问吧！！
开学后第一次回家，独自找到回家的“路线”，有点光荣，因为，我原来也可以不必靠别人。在外面的两个星期，瘦了三公斤（但过后却猛上升）。回到家的感觉真好。。。。但是三天后，再次面对“鼻子酸酸”的感觉。
曾经很想参与很多大学里的活动，但却因为加入了PBSM（Persatuan Balik Setiap Minggu)而放弃了。和她“同居”之后，发现原来她不打篮球，而打英式篮球，也是跆拳道黑带，哇！好有安全感。。。她很好笑，很爱作怪，和她那正经的外表有点冲突。。。
从原本的三人行，到后来的六人行；从原本的相敬如宾，到后来的“颠颠废废”。。。但是一年的大学生涯，竟然有种说不出的。。。空虚感。。。。发现自己比起以前少了很多笑容，更情绪化，更会把情绪挂在脸上。一年了，点头之交还算多，但称得上朋友的却寥寥无几。庆幸的是，我的“姐妹们”都很好。
有你们的陪伴，让我的生活不孤单。我一定会珍惜你们，爱你们哦！
一年后的今天，当初的疑问仍没得到解释，朋友不见得很多，知识没有增加很多，原定的目标也没达到，唯一增加的，就是那份珍惜你们的心。
希望接下来的新学期，依然过的好，一切顺利。加油！！加油！！加油！！
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28
June
2006
about 10 more days later…..school open….my 2 months holidays past so fast….silently…
this week….a lot of things happened tat affect my emotion….DOWN…..SAD……..TIRED…..TEARS……….UNexplanable…..
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26
May
2006
long time din write blog….
after exam,lot of feeling and ideas for me 2 write my blog……but,….everytime i have the right mood 2 write it,i have no chance 2 online….when i m online, i have no mood 2 do so…..hai~~is it so call not in the right time????life is oways like tat.many things happen in the wrong time n tat’s the fact of "FAILURE".
i plan 2 do a lot of things during tis holidays but i din follow the planning…..i plan 2 keep my things taking bec from my hostel,but till now my bags n boxes still left on the floor of my room "completely"…..i plan 2 clean up my table but till now my table is still mass of books and files……i plan 2 read some books but till now i haven read a book even 1 page….c…..i m tat kind of ppl nv follow plan…..shortly,i dun like planning….i prefer 2 follow my mood rather than my plan….not good right???
last week i have a trip 2 PULAU KAPAS wif my gang of OLD+BEST FRIEND.everyone will ask the same question after we telling them our destination.."y go kapas not go redang??"…"cz kapas cheaper"….actually i m not much care for the destination cz i just wan 2 enjoy the gathering wif frens…i do enjoy it……i think tat all of us will chat till midnite during the trip but wat i think is not true…..all those "21’s old ppl"(suet yee, foo, wai ee, eng yew, yung chin) sleep so early and left 6 of us 3 8 till midnite…really true….they odi old…hahahha….after 3days staying on the island,its sure our skin get "dark" but luckily we got ….SUNBLOCK…which can prevent it from "burn".next year, they plan 2 go for mountain climbing…dunno will it success but really hope we can do such gathering every year…i really appreciate the times having wif all of u….and sure…. special thanks for our organiser…."miss wong lai cheng" …pls give her a big hand!!!! thanks….
so fast, my 3 days 2 nites trip over….implies tat my holidays still left only 1 month…i really dun hope the day come even i miss my roomate( wif her new hair style) n my frens in U so much….O.M.G!!!only the 1st year studying in U oledi scared wif such suck life…..when school open,wait for holidays;when holidays,look for the next sem holidays….hahaha…wat about the following years???hard 2 imagine…..anywhere…i dun hope the years in U past so fast..cz i know tat after tat,i wil begin my working life…..haha i m oways like tat…have "sotong" ’s thinking…hard 2 understand…
Hmmm…….hope tat i can enjoy the remain month in home n please…… "mr. 10th july" don visit me so fast…
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11
April
2006
5 days from now….final exam start….
last sem, promise 2 myself, must start my study at the very beginning of this sem. must start study my titas when the sem start. Must ……tat nv followed…..same thinng happen just like last sem, study in last minutes….
suppose 2 bec hostel yday but till now still at hometown…really not willing 2 bec 2 the smal smal room after a week stay home…although know tat there will b my long long sem break after tis exam….its just tat feeling……don wanna leave home……do wanna 2 face my exam tat not yet well-prepared….
ppl tat register for actuary course reach 80+ ppl…..how 2 fight for my sit if i cant get a good result tis sem since there was lot of 4.0 math students??wat 2 take if cant get in actuary course?think ..think……think…….
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17
March
2006
Since I being in UM,omost complete my 1st year,tat have 2 semesters,a year past. Wat I have study? Wat have I learn? All of tat cant run from MATHs……..maths………maths………..symbols…………. Formulae………theorems……….and……………proof…
A lot of theorems n formulae tat can proof wif just using 9 numbers and some unknown…….
Is it our life oso is fixed by a lot of formulae or theorems? We will become a useful person if and only if we study hard since young???? We will get good result if and only if we study hard?? We consider as a clever person if and only if
we passed our exam wif flying colours?? All of these seems like oledi set in our mind since we borned……….BY formulae…..i guess….many ppl saw b4 but really interesting….
2 EQUATIONS GIVEN
STUDY + HARDWORKING = NO FAIL IN EXAM —————(1)
NO STUDY + NO HARDWORKING = FAIL IN EXAM —————(2)
ADDITION OF (1) & (2):
(NO+1)STUDY + (N0+1)HARDWORKING = (NO+1)FAIL IN EXAM
===＞ STUDY + HARDWORKING = FAIL IN EXAM
.’. NO NEED STUDY ANYMORE……!!!!!
is it true???is it much more easier if these 2 equation can solve like this…….
unfortunately,life cant applied just like a formula……if can….i really do…..hope tat everything have its formula…if u do tis ,,then u will get tat……without any contradiction…but many cases tell us….life is not tat easy….life have no such word written as "MUST"
since primary school…we oways "fight"…… not physically but mentally….."fight" 2 get in the best school…(actually is parents do so),then the best class,get the best tuition teacher,get the best result.Everybody try 2 be the best…..is it the students wif the highest scores in exam is the best???o the
1 who get the most trophy in sports day is the best??
we can c tat,from primary school till university,life is more n more competitive,…..for me,during form 6,hope can get in2 university.So,study hard.(actually just study hard b4 exam)…so glad tat can get a place for myself in university……then….think tat nothing 2 worry about for the following years in U…..but….after a year,have 2 "fight" for the major course…HATE HATE HATE!!!!!again have 2 "fight"!!guess tat…..not guess i think…is a must…..after graduate….."fight" for a job….then "fight" for a higher post…..so on n on……..when will it stop???i really enjoy the life tat everything have been arranged.mayb u will said tat i m lazy or i dun have my own opinion….or even u can said i din use my brain….but..really…i do like it….at least nothing have 2 wori about……dun think tat life really 2 good???but i know tat it won happened on me anymore cz i odi grow up…everything need my own decision,own arrangement,and oso own planning.
….
so good 2 b a new born baby……wif her adorable smile….nothing 2 think…
nothing 2 worry about…………enjoy ur time….my little cuty cousin…..
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21
February
2006
now i m trying 2 write my blog in the shortest time….y????cz afterward have meeting n so hard for me 2 find a time 2 online….
last few days,a gathering wif my best "jimui"..a long long chat wif them….till not enuf sleep….but….really haPPY…aiwei,lai cheng,xuyi,glad 2 have u 2gether,even we may not meet so often but u all will oways on my mind n i will really appreciate it.
tomolo pey weon will bec 2 australia…n the next time 2 meet her will b end of tis year…tis is the 1st time she bec from australia but we have no much time 2 meet in tis 3 months.next monday …reach time for sheyan 2 go 2 china…continue her study there for 2 years…a small small farewell party for her tat day n hope she will like it….thanks for introduce ur frens,2 twins sister n shiqi to me…the twins…really so funny…
peyweon,sheyan,i will miss both of u so much n wish u all the best all along the study life in overseas…don forget 2 send me e-mail……take care… keep in touch….
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14
February
2006
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Since I have no any “appointment” on tis important day,…so….i choose 2 have a date wif…..Mr. F——–”Mr Friendster”.
Who r the most happy person in tis special day??????couple tat can celebrate 2day in a romantic place???couple tat receive present from their beloved??gal tat receive many flowers,chocolate,bears，diamond???i think there r no ppl will happier than the flower seller tat sold out thousand dozen of flowers in a day…..wao!!!!~~~ more than rm10 per kuntum of rose tat wil decay in few days~~is it really 2 expensive??i duno..maybe tis is wat called LOVE…..love tat cant valued by $…….but can valued by numbers of flowers???
For those who stil single …..(like me) ,,most will celebrate wif frens…family…n even wif “technology”……computer…..tv…..
Actually 2day I suppose 2 celebrate tis valentine’s day wif my dearest “a niong” in hostel,but bcz of some reason….. I m still at hometown now……hahha….niong a,sorry har……but can gv u a chance 2 celebrate wif dtc…..happy???don worry,I still can celebrate valentine wif u till 23 years old….hehehe
Roommate a,don sad la…I promise next time will acoompany u go there ma…..slow slow la….
Aiwei….gambatae!!!!
No matter who u celebrate valentine wif,,,hope all of u happy 2day….wish all couple have well-being future. Good luck for those who single…..meet their beloved 1 as soon as possible……
Love u…
by liling in boring situation
11:30pm 14.2. 2006
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12
February
2006
2day is the 15th day of chinese new year.then,means the last day of new year.thanks tat i m allowed 2 bec home for 3days.actually i m having 1 week mid term holiday start 2day..but i have 2 bec 2 hostel 2ml for the MKTH preparation.hai~~will celebrate valentine alone in hostel….(at least at home will celebrate wif my dad,mum n oso sis)…
after sembreak will b quite busy wif my assignment n mid-exam n final-exam.. assignment tat have 2 complete on march not yet start doing,not yet study n prepare for exam.i m really a bit lazy n no mood study..i just dunno y.after tis sem,i will become senior.wat a senior should know actualy??for me,all the senior should know a lot n have a lot of experience.all tat i have not yet fulfil…. how?just b a "stupid senior" next sem.
roomate…..hope next sem u will still my roomate la…..cant c u 1 week sure miss u so much….know y????cz i will keep thinking tat u r watching tv,watching football match,eating "mum’s cook" n drinking soup at home while i m super boring n lonely in my small small room….
HAPPY "ZAP GO MEI"!!!!!
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